Reply to What to Do with an Unsafe Dad?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "What to Do with an Unsafe Dad?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - to clarify he has a demanding job and has been able to perform well and receive good feedback. He has been in school for most of our relationship. But now has a good job since the past 3 years. I have already stepped down in position and intensity from my career which I really don’t want to let go(but I see the point of being a SAHM in this case). He has always been “easygoing” but I just never imagined that he would be so nonchalant with our children.

The only things I have ever seen him accomplish with care and urgency are his schoolwork and his job. he justifies his behavior on safety by believing that I am making a big deal out of nothing, that accidents happen and things will get better.

The things I mentioned are the life threatening things. In general though he refuses to accept the importance of safety hygiene and his role as a parent in these key areas for the kids. For example, he thinks it’s okay to let our son continue sleeping in his bed after he wets it. He also doesn’t wash the kids properly and puts up more of a fight about bath time than the kids do. I know he loves his kids and his family. He is with them playing reading books building things etc all the time. We are a really close family otherwise and spend most of our time together.

Any specific advice on parenting classes, safety classes or anything else I would appreciate it. For example tonight the bath thing he just thinks I’m making a big deal out of nothing. I feel like a crazy person here.  
[/quote]

Maybe parenting books would be helpful?  When my kids (now grown) were young, I found the What to Expect series to be very helpful and they had sections on safety, emergencies, etc.  I think they’ve been revised since then, and I haven’t seen the new versions, but if they don’t have what you need, other parenting books might.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VWR6FML?binding=kindle_edition&qid=1772336483&sr=1-2&ref=dbs_dp_awt_sb_pc_tkin

Is there someone who he might respect enough to listen to (that you also trust) - pediatrician, his mom, preschool teacher, professional nanny you could hire temporarily, lawyer, etc.?

Not washing the kids properly or even skipping baths entirely might be frustrating for you, but that’s something that can be negotiated or addressed unilaterally.  Safety, however, is non-negotiable.  While you need some comprehensive solutions, here are a few resources that maybe you can use to show him that your concerns are legitimately big deals.

https://www.redcross.org/get-help/how-to-prepare-for-emergencies/types-of-emergencies/water-safety/drowning-prevention-and-facts.html?srsltid=AfmBOoq-E5LlZTSRxaCbVKzLd6tdbArOfNrtID5Fao64UaE8O4hKmS9o

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/at-home/Pages/Bathroom-Safety.aspx

[youtube]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BZVusLPwkpQ&pp=ygUTY2hpbGQgYmF0aCBkcm93bmluZw%3D%3D[/youtube]

[youtube]https://m.youtube.com/shorts/mbwLxhpzrVs[/youtube]

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/at-home/Pages/how-to-buy-safe-toys.aspx

[youtube]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G5sllTZ8rMA&pp=ygUTYmFieSBjaG9raW5nIGhhemFyZA%3D%3D[/youtube][/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics