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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reading your update, you have to give yourself grace. It's not a failing to move elsewhere for a job and live your life there. It's unreasonable for  a parent to demand you HAVE TO BE THERE for her, even though you have your own life and family. You sound like a kind person and your mom sounds like a monster. Acknowledge that. She's at the end of her life and willing to grasp at any straws, and for her it's fine if everybody else drowns as she's dying. In fact she prefers that. [/quote]

And if that's was the totality of the story, I think OP would be fine with that. It's just sad that the sister is a chip off the old block and is perpetuating the guilt trip. Maybe OP should just give up and disengage. Actually, she should tell her sister that:

"Sis, I've had it up to here after 30 years of your bullying me about moving away. Moving away is what normal people do, for work and a better quality of life. If you want me to not help you at all and not contact you or Mom, I can do that. You don't get to refuse my help and in the same breath, criticize me for not helping enough. You cannot forever blame me for not being there. You chose to move back to get free childcare - it wasn't all out of the goodness of your heart. Don't think you're a martyr here. I want to help, but if that means dealing with your constant guilt-tripping, then I'm out."
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