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[quote=Anonymous]I am not divorced, but I can relate to a lot of this.  I am also newly 40.  I also find myself wanting the experience of another baby.  I also find myself reflecting that, although my children are perfect to me (!), there are things about the way I experienced my pregnancies and their infancies that weren't perfect.  One of them was a COVID baby, and I still feel robbed of that experience.

I think to keep perspective, you have to remember that having another likely doesn't actually give you an ideal experience, either.  You may have a much better partner this time, but you are also older and you have a history of eclampsia.  You could, for example, end up having to deliver very early and then have to live with the stress of a very premature baby.  That's not so ideal.

I totally get it because baby fever is real.  But every time you get pregnant, the hard reality is that you are rolling the dice on any number of outcomes, and not all of them are your dream scenario.  At your age and with your medical history, that is especially relevant.

And frankly, it sounds like you know this, but not being on the same page as your partner about what life with three kids would or should look like complicates your version of the dream even further.  He may be your dream man, but challenging situations can put a strain on dream relationships.  Maybe your relationship is better off without that strain.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.[/quote]

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