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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Finding A Single Mom Village"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do I build a new circle as a single mom? The married moms I used to socialize with mostly do couples hangouts at which I'm the odd one out. I'm ok with that, but I don't get invited anymore. The single moms I meet spend most of their limited free time dating or looking for dates. They seem to want a wingwoman more than anything and will ditch a girls night for last minute first date. I'm fit and girly and love going out, but I'm thrilled not to have a man sucking the life out of me for the first time in 15 years. I don't want to center men in my free time. The child-free single women I meet are more available and friendly, but they don't like the constraints on my time that come with being a single mom. I'm lonely for a village of fellow moms who get the mom life and actually want to invest in other women. Moms I can raise kids with and rely on through the ups and downs of single mom life. Not just sporadic hangouts and minimal texting. [b]I didn't have a village as a married woman[/b] because my ex was mentally unstable and ran people off on purpose to isolate the kids and I. I don't have one now because it seems [b]most women organize their lives around men[/b]. How do I meet other moms [b]who want to raise their kids[/b], [u]have fun with other women[/u], and [u][b]develop their careers and hobbies?[/b][/u][/quote] :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: and then some more... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: And the answer is - that this society is such that you do not have a village at any stage of your life. Single, married, divorced, with kids, without kids. You are alone and no one will want to be inconvenienced for you. Your family is not a village for you, your neighbors are not your village, your coworkers are not your village, your friends from school/college/church are not your village. You have not been socialized to put others first + others have not been socialized to put others first. Also - I love when women want a village. Usually these are women who have had kids. Then they think that the village is their childcare because they are interpreting the saying "It takes a village to raise a child" as an advertisement for free childcare. Then they look around and say "wait! where is my village?" [b]My answer is NEVER[/b]. You will never have a village. Because unless you were the "village" for lots and lots and lots of people and helped them without any expectation - you are not going to get your "village". The "village" is a reciprocal relationship that happens when people are [b]mentally and emotionally healthy. [/b] [/quote] Considering this post, I don't think you know anything about that. This post was a lot.[/quote]
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