Reply to Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?

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Reply to "Is it normal not to love your elderly parent who is not abusive or mean?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad is 92, recently widowed, and lives alone. He asks for very little help, but I worry about him being lonely and visit him weekly. This is not a burden to me . . . it's a privilege, and it's the least I can do for someone who made sure that I wanted for nothing and always felt loved and supported.

I don't have a hard time finding ways to make these visits enjoyable. I take him out shopping or to lunch; cook him a nice meal; run errands for and with him; play board games or cards; help him organize things around the house; watch movies and shows. Sometimes all it takes is just being there so he's not alone, even if he's doing his thing and I'm reading a book or working on a knitting or needlepoint project.

I know not everyone has an easy relationship with their parents, but it sounds like your dad is nice to be around. Be thankful for that and try to find a way to see your time with him as a gift . . . because it is even if you don't realize it now.[/quote]

I wouldn't mind doing this once a week for a Dad who was kind and took care of me, but in my case, my dad has zero friends and no activities here and always wants to come along with our family. As a result, we are very limited in what we can do or else we have to leave him home. It's taking away quality family time and time withe my husband. Whenever we go on vacation we have to bring him with us, which is a huge pain as his mobility is very limited but he wants to do everything with us. I've tried getting him to go to assisted living, but he thinks they are full of old, frail people and doesn't think of himself that way. [/quote]

Is this OP? If so, invite your dad to some vacations, but not all. You have a responsibility to your own family as well as to your dad. Balancing this shows your child how to balance his life when you become the old person that he is responsible for one day.[/quote]

Not OP, and my dad wants to come to everything ith us. We never get time with just our family. [/quote]

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