Reply to 33 year old son living at home, but doesn’t help out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our 33 year-old son was laid off last year and moved back home. He has since found a new job but has continued living with us. We love our son and don’t mind having him at home. My husband and I are both 55, and working.

Our concern is that our son isn’t contributing to the household. He has an active social life and spends a lot of time away from home, but that doesn’t mean he can’t help out when he is here. He pays for his own expenses, but we would like him to contribute by helping with cleaning, yard work, cooking, and other household tasks.

How do we talk with our son kindly about our expectations?[/quote]

DP here with adult kids this age.

I would take this excellent opportunity to tell him it's time to find another place to live, since he's back on his feet and has a job now. Otherwise, he could continue to live with you for much longer, and may completely forget how to manage his own home and affairs. This is not in his interest, or in yours.

Do it gently, and let him know the door is always open if he hits another bump in the road. But it's time for him to move on now, and you wouldn't be doing your job as a parent if you didn't make sure he can care for himself if something happens to you.[/quote]

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