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[quote=Anonymous]My parents are now what I'd call friendly. Been divorced... 37 years?

I think it's a fake-it-till-you-make-it situation. They split when I was four. From my perspective, they always got along fine. Sat together at my basketball games. We're polite and kind. Never a mean word spoken. As an adult, I can now see that the first few years, that was them doing what was best for me and my brother, it was probably really hard for them.

My read is, it got easier and easier, but still wasn't fun or enjoyable for either of them. Then, once I went away to college (I'm the youngest), there were VERY few occasions for them to have to interact and so they got basically a six year break of barely seeing each other. I think that was probably a nice reset for them.

Then my brother got engaged, and all of a sudden there were a lot of family events. Engagement parties, weddings, baby showers, births, grandkid birthday parties, more combined holidays, etc. And I think starting then, they actually were able to enjoy each other's company. That was over 15 years ago. And since then I think they actually are friends on some level and they definitely do enjoy each other's company. They like to share stories of their shared hometown and the people they used to know. They can tell funny stories from their time together. And they have lots of shared positive memories with the grandkids.

So - it was hard for five years, manageable for almost 10 years, then they got a six year break, and since then they've had more than 15 years of friendship. Not bad, in the grand scheme of things. And my brother and I came out unscathed. So I think that's a good model. [/quote]

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