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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We do! Our kids are 6, 4 and 10 months.

A few things make this work:

1) We both have flexible, family friendly jobs where we aren't required to go to the office (though we both prefer to, so we each work hybrid) and we can both leave at 5 every single day. I think there's been one day each in the last three years that we've had to stay late. We do occasionally have to do a little work after bedtime - me, maybe once a month for an hour? Him probably more like weekly for an hour. I don't think this would be doable if even one spouse worked long hours.

2) We are equal partners - we each do our half. I have my areas of responsibility around the kids and house and family, and he has his, and we each handle our own, no nagging. 50/50.

3) We give each other breaks. We try to each take one or two weekday evenings "off" from parenting and family per month, where we go out for dinner with a friend or something and don't come home until after bedtime. We also each take a chunk of time "off" each weekend, where we relax in our room with no kid duties, or do hobbies, or go out with friends. During those times, the other parent is totally in charge of everything. For example, this past Sunday, I slept until 11pm, took a long shower, and read for about an hour. Didn't so much as see the kids until noon. So restorative!

4) We sleep train right at 4 months and are aggressive about sleep issues. Our kids all sleep 11.5-12 hours a night, and the younger two nap. Non-negotiable - we need our sleep.

5) We have high standards for things that matter, like family time, family dinner, reading time, schedules for the kids, a robust social life for us and the kids, sleep, behavior. We cut corners on things that don't - sheets are washed monthly. House is cleaned monthly (though we straighten up and spot sweep nightly). Kids get baths 2x a week (and we just put them all in together, lol). We do birthday parties that can be planned in under an hour. We not traveling much at all right now (just to see family). We don't do elf on the shelf, valentines for the class, family photoshoots, Christmas cards, or anything else like that. The kids wear hand-me downs, not put together outfits. Oh, and we're also very low screen.

Happy to answer any specific questions about our lifestyle if it helps! We are happy and enjoy our kids (though also sometimes overwhelmed, especially after things like sickness or this recent snowstorm) and they are having a great childhood, IMHO. We're also done - as much as we "theoretically" would love four, it'd be too much (especially as far as 1:1 time which is already in somewhat short supply). [/quote]

PP to add - we have some help, but not a ton. The big kids are in aftercare until 5:15, the baby is in a nanny share that we host from 9-5 (so the nanny cannot help with household chores or laundry or the other kids or anything - it's literally just childcare for the baby for those hours), and my parents visit monthly and will take one or both big kids out for a fun activity. We do a childcare swap with a neighbor where one of them come watch the monitor after bedtime every other week so we can go out, and we do the same for them. We've gotten a sitter maybe three times since the baby was born, and don't have any sitters that can watch all three. We have a monthly cleaning lady, and monthly yard maintenance in the spring/summer/fall for our tiny front garden (we're in a row house). Otherwise, it's just us. [/quote]

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