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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]50% is the norm unless there is actual documented abuse.

So yes, I think your idea of proposing a split out of the gate that gives him a lot of time but you more time is a very smart thing to try. Most men don’t want 50% but also want to save face.

And it is also important that you be extremely objective about your kids relationship with him. No matter how much you hate him and how badly he behaves to you, [b]he may still be a good dad[/b]. You daughters’ statements to you may be more complex than they sound.

The issue with a more unconventional time sharing split where he has daytime hours with them but return to you at night  is that you have to cooperate and see each other a lot. Which means that you need be very, very very calm. Can you handle that?

I was not willing to give my ex 50-50 so I offered him an unconventional time split sort of along the lines you are thinking of. Busy body divorce “professionals” tried to discourage it as being too difficult. But it worked out perfectly. I had to bite my tongue a lot at first because I had to see him all the time … but everything stabilized into a nice routine. It ended up working for everyone. [/quote]

A man who rages in front of or at his children is not a good dad. Full stop. [/quote]

It’s impossible to tell from OP’s description. And imperfect parents are still parents. Sometimes people do improve when the stress of a bad marriage is removed.

The other option is for OP to spend all of her money in a destructive battle only to end up with the DH having significant custody anyway. I have seen it happen.

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