Reply to Girlfriend Says My Kids Are Mean

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[quote=Anonymous]My teens (13 and 16) have some very valid issues with their father (we're now divorced and he's with his affair partner) but they wouldn't roll their eyes or mock anyone to their face. I feel like this is less an issue about your kids not liking your girlfriend (we don't know the details, maybe that's fair, maybe it's not, but either way they're not fully formed and you're the adults) and more about what kind of behavior you allow.

I'm not saying you punish them over a tone or facial expression, but I'd have a heart to heart with my teens to check in that they feel seen and heard and supported. And then I would talk about what our options are when we have to interact with someone we don't really want to be around, because that's just a situation they'll encounter over and over in life. And I'd talk about the natural consequences if they can't be civil -- you lose jobs, your reputation, etc.

And maybe they do have valid concerns about your girlfriend, and you can listen to those with an open mind. Or maybe this is a more primal wound, that they want to feel chosen by their father. I don't know. If it were my kids, we would talk about all of this.[/quote]

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