Reply to Rude and recalcitrant 14 year old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like she doesn't like the food you make nor the activities you've signed her up for. She's 14, not 4 as someone else said. Let her have a say. ASK what she wants and let her do/have/prepare it her way. She's "defiant" because you're controlling. I was like that with my mom (listened to dad) because she was unbearable (she also had undiagnosed anxiety). [/quote]

Op here and I have to say I’m surprised by all of the posters here saying I’m being controlling.  But also willing to consider letting some of this go if that’s the case. It’s not like I want to be badgering her, but I feel like these are the things we have decided do fall on us as parents to try to get her to work on.

We are pushing the sleep and food stuff because I feel like these pediatrician is one step away from saying our daughter is failing to thrive and this may be her final year or 2 of growth. And she is still in the bottom first percentile for weight and height.

We told her she has to do just one physical activity. This is the one activity she chose. She doesn’t want to do anything else. Honestly I’m willing to cut it if you all think it’s too much, because it’s been such a battle getting her to go and frankly it’s expensive.

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Where is your partner in all of this? You two need to come up with a plan and present an undivided front[/quote]

We are working together. We are also all working together with a therapist to work through these and other issues.[/quote]

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