Reply to Getting your adult kids "off the payroll"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, as others have said, you simply need to be clear and consistent. You’ve provided for her needs and a few wants, but not so many that she can buy whatever she wants. That is an approach taken by many parents, and it was similar to mine. I also provided unequally by dollar amount because of some illnesses and exigent circumstances. Fairness between siblings doesn’t necessarily mean doing exactly the same thing for each one. It’s more about commitment to the level of need.

My daughter could NEVER get enough. She always had reasons to ask for more money no matter what we gave and what she received in scholarships and prizes etc. In retrospect, I said yes too often. I wanted to say no, I should have said no, but for many reasons it was painful for me to hear her laments and recriminations. This did not lead to a good outcome.

You’ve set reasonable and appropriate limits and expectations. Now you just need to trust yourself and be comfortable saying no in a firm, polite way, and not entertaining further discussion.[/quote]

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