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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Anyone have any advice on helping adult children understand they won't be able to afford things their parents paid for when they were teenagers now that they're supposed to be launched? That they need to budget their own income and adjust their lifestyles accordingly and there won't be parental subsidies?

My own situation is complicated because I'm divorced. The ex-spouse who has the higher income (me) is more frugal. The lower-income ex-spouse is more free-spending. This was a contributing factor for the divorce, actually -- one spouse thought nothing of living beyond the family's means. After the divorce, the kids had parents living separately, modeling different financial habits.

Now as young adults, one child is officially launched. She takes after the frugal spouse. Rarely asks for money for extras. I happily pay for things like trips home, help with trips to see her grandparents in California, etc. I send the occasional gift and matched her own contributions to a Roth IRA. She's still on my cell phone on the family plan (that's more inertia) and I'm covering her health insurance as it's superior to what she could get with her own employer. That obviously will end when she turns 26 (by law).

The younger child is still in college. I pay for her sorority because she got a scholarship. She's also on the phone plan and health insurance (of course). She gets a 529 distribution twice a month for living expenses -- food, toiletries, etc. And the 529 also buys a meal plan on campus. She knows she needs to earn her own spending money during the summer for extras but has dragged her feet on that. No matter how many times I have told her she needs to budget the money she receives (and have tried to show her how to do this), this child thinks nothing of Uber Eats for take-out pretty regularly. She also casually spends on things like premium beauty products and just got herself a $200 haircut. These are the sorts of things the other parent does.

She just asked for another distribution a week before it's scheduled because she dropped $200 on a haircut... I.e., she isn't managing her money very well. She's also asking me to pay for Spring Break. She just got upset with me because I told her she'd have to wait until the 15th for her next distribution (she just got one a week ago). She has money on her university account so can eat meals on campus, that's not an issue. She just wants spending money going into the weekend, I think.

I know I need to have a come-to-Jesus (again) with the youngest. But I'm curious for those who've weaned their own adult children off the payroll, and those children are accustomed to certain upper middle class lifestyle habits (like $200 haircuts and premium makeup), how did you snap them to reality? I'm always willing to pay for the things my adult children NEED, but I'm unwilling to indulge everything they WANT. [/quote]

Dude I cant even....you are still subsidizing your children. A LOT. Cut them off. Cell phone, health insurance, sorority, trips to CA, MATCHING CONTRIBUTIONS TO ROTH (HAHAHAHAH). 
[/quote]

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