Reply to "Mean girl" behaviors in second grader

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[quote=Anonymous]Little late to this thread, but I have 2 cents to add.  My daughter befriended a girl at the end of Kindergarten who was mean to her and she learned 1) How it feels to be treated unkindly by someone you believe is your friend 2) She did not want to be that girl's friend anymore 3) She does not want to treat someone else the way she was treated. I watched this happen without intervening because experiencing that kind of behavior is necessary to learn all of the lessons above and sooner the better. She is resilient now. A new girl started bullying her at the beginning of 2nd grade this year with daily questions that were really criticisms like "Why do you wear your hair like that?" "Why are you wearing that shirt?" ... My daughter and I discussed it and my daughter handled it by responding "Why do you ask?" and then "Why do you need to know?" to her questions, which shut it down. Months later, the girl asked my daughter another question and my daughter responded "Why do you need to know?" When the girl said "I just want to know," my daughter said "You want to know, but you don't NEED to know." The girl walked away without another word. So proud of my daughter. And that painful experience with the friend from Kindergarten helped get her to this point of being able to recognize what she is dealing with when bullying happens and handle it like a champ without being mean herself. My point, if you want your daughter to stop being unkind to her peers, then set up playdates with another girl who you recognize is unkind. Let her be on the receiving end of that behavior while she is young enough to learn from it and grow into a better person. [/quote]

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