Reply to Formally very close friendship dying, do you say something or just move on?

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[quote=Anonymous]I met a woman when our kids were about 4. We hung out often and I noticed she had a very strong attachment to her daughter. Her daughter basically ruled the roost and out plans revolved around her wants and schedule. When we’d go over the daughter would be bossy and clingy to her mom. My DD would spend more time watching the older brother play video games. This was ok for awhile but my DD started not wanting to go over anymore. At the same time, this woman’s husband worked from home and he was just strange. He was very religious which I don’t care until he made a very rude comment about my religion. I stated pulling away and eventuality we moved a little further away, the kids were in elementary school and then I just completely stopped responding. Once in awhile she would reach out.
I’d be pleasant but my DD had no interest in reconnecting and the mom didn’t seem to want to meet without the girls. So I backed away because my DD didn’t like her DD, we got busy, but mostly because I did not feel comfortable being around her husband. 
Fast forward several years she reached out again, kids are in HS and I felt bad so I convinced my DD to just come out for a quick coffee. Plans were made. That morning, as we were heading over to the meeting spot, she texts me to see if we can push our meeting back an hour because her daughter wanted to make cookies. That was the final straw. I told her we had plans later in the day and then we just faded again. If she ever asked me “what happened” I would have made up an excuse that we just got busy. But if I see her now and she asks, I would tell her. Some or none of this may apply to you but I wanted to call out that animosity can build over time, there could be a big reason that you didn’t notice, it could be your husband. She may not want to share the reasons. What I would have wanted from my friend was to recognize what was happening. It seemed so obvious to me but the fact that she couldn’t see it or could see it and didn’t want to change anything showed me this would always be a one sided relationship. When she had a chance years later and still couldn’t manage to prioritize our friendship, that was it for me. 
For you I would invite her out for a quick coffee. I think the conversation would be more honest in person vs over text. Make it easy for her, pick a place nearby. Don’t come across as too needy, simply tell her that you are thinking of her, and would like to see her for an hour. FWIW, I recently reached out to an old neighbor to catch up after we both moved and never heard back. I’m sad, it could be the email changed or went into spam or her life is very different. I’ll never know but I’m glad I tried.[/quote]

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