Reply to Formally very close friendship dying, do you say something or just move on?

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Formally very close friendship dying, do you say something or just move on?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn’t ask if I’d done something wrong.  Minimal chance you did and don’t know.  It seems she knows you’d be a valuable friend if she was going through something personal, so that door remains open.  Most I would do would be to connect again and leave it in her court.  Something like “Miss seeing you around, but life is so much different without the boys around, huh!.  I’m always up for coffee if life gets less busy.  Give me a buzz anytime.” [/quote]

This is a good idea [/quote]

I agree with this. I wouldn’t ask if I have done something to offend as I can’t imagine that you wouldn’t have a clue if you had.  I had something similar happen to me with a friend (our kids were friends) and I  noticed her pulling away after the kids stopped hanging out as much. I was shocked because we shared so much outside of the kids, so I wrongly assumed our relationship was not due to convenience.  However, she started  always being busy. I am a firm believer that we prioritize what and who we want to. So I gave her space, lowered my expectations and rearranged the importance of our friendship in my heart. It was hard. I grieved the past friendship but in doing so it helped me not to stress about the current status of the friendship and it kept us in each other’s lives. I am almost certain that had I said anything (confronted her) we would be friends who only communicate when we happen upon each other every blue moon.  We went from chatting and texting 2-3 times a day, to reaching out once a week, to now every couple of weeks or so we will check in with one another. We don’t share as many hard/personal things with each other but we both know that we can count on each other.

Also out of curiosity, has your son accomplished more than her son? (Better college or scholarship etc) Sometimes, people can’t handle when they aren’t on top. [/quote]

OP here.  Thank you for this kind post. I relate to your experience. 
My son is at an objectively more elite college but ironically her son turned down a school that was just as elite for the one that he's attending (for fit) and by all accounts is extremely happy. Our kids were very much in step academically and athletically in high school and it wasn't a focus of our friendship at all because neither of us are competitive people and both boys always did well, were recognized, had opportunities etc. I guess maybe this could be a trigger now but it just doesn't jive with who I know her to be.  And I can tell you with 100% certainty that if the roles were reversed it wouldn't phase me. I can't imagine a situation where I would withdraw out of jealousy. Frankly, I wouldn't have any friends if I withdrew from anyone whose kid is at a very top college or receiving accolades for something very impressive.

I'm going to step away now and go make some storm preparations. I appreciate the feedback. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics