Reply to Is a divorce supposed to be kept quiet until it’s final?

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Reply to "Is a divorce supposed to be kept quiet until it’s final?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let him be mad.  Don't give it another thought.

It's one thing to keep it quiet when both parties are still deciding what to do, but if he's filed then the decision is made.[/quote]

Ok- that makes a lot of sense and actually explains to me where DH was coming from. I think that he confused those two parts and in his mind the filing-to-settlement timeline is equivalent to the contemplation-to-filling time period.

He argued that “no one needs to know what’s going on until we have a settlement and know how things will work.” I’m sure that makes sense to him since he is not the primary parent and is probably only worried about finances and housing, neither of which will be resolved until the end.

He also asked if I wanted to go to counseling when he told me he had filed. I don’t think he understands how decisive the act of filing was! Crazy to think that he may have seen it as a signal of possible future intent rather than a decision.[/quote]

Do you think there's any chance he wants to reconcile and was dramatically trying to get your attention?

Or if there's an affair but he was willing to be separated and not fully divorced for a long time so the new person can't pressure him into marrying?

He owes you some clarity that only he can provide.

[/quote]

No idea about any of the above. After his counseling question he basically stopped replying to any kind of communication, even about the kids. My assumption is than he flinched in a panic once it was real but then doubled down, but who knows. I don’t think a long term separation was the goal because he’s really trying to rush the divorce process.[/quote]
Men seldom leave without a woman waiting in the wings. Don’t be surprised if this happens. [/quote]

A few weeks ago that would have been a nightmare scenario, but in some ways I can now see that it would be a gift. I know that sounds nuts. [/quote]

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