Reply to Have your Adult Children moved away by choice to get away from you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I moved away from home and never went back (other than 1-2 times per year short visits). It isn't a reflection on my parents, our relationship or my upbringing. They gave me a solid foundation and that helped me launch on my own. Looking back now, it was probably a bit cruel. They missed me terribly, and I remember my mom and sister fighting a lot with each other after I left, and my mom telling me it felt like I had died. Dramatic, yes, but they both experienced losses when I was experiencing new, positive things.  My mom can laugh about it now, looking back, but it was really a tough couple of years for them. [/quote]

You came from an enmeshed family. We all would feel sadness at kids growing up but not this level. [/quote]

I don't know that I would say enmeshed. My mom is very emotional, but not in a controlling or manipulative way. They never held me back or gave me any guilt. I didn't go back home on summer breaks, but it wasn't a reflection on them. Similarly my parents didn't move to be closer to me. We have a great relationship, but now that I have young adults, I can see how difficult it would be to only see your 19 year old once or twice a year. Not every move is because of trauma or unhealthy dynamics. [/quote]

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