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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Must be an only because you sound like a desperado [/quote]

This is not a nice comment, but I would say to encourage relationships with siblings, cousins, and family friends.

My son in 6th grade usually does okay with friends, but when he's not getting a lot of reciprocation, he leans on his teen sister, his cousins, and the sons of a friend I grew up with. Those foundations give him confidence no matter what is happening with his "school friends".

And I'm sorry for saying this, but there are some times when I think the decision to go private is misguided and I think this is one of those times. I think he'd do better in a public.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks. Curious about why you think public would be better. We have always felt he benefits academically from the small class sizes, individual attention. Benefits from being able to play on teams without being cut. I can't envision how public would be better socially but I am curious now.[/quote]

PP you quoted. Sorry for the delay in responding. I just know my experience and I'm just a random person on the internet so obviously take it with a grain of salt.... I was very concerned about academics for my kids, they are strong students. Where I live, a lot of people feel the public school is not good enough, it has a meh or even rough reputation. My oldest is in HS now and I'm like damn- thank god we didn't go private. There is more competition academically at a private (if you care about the competitive college rat race thing- we do) and the public HS has decent enough teachers, robust arts and athletics programs, and offers a million AP classes. I know this sounds like a "great" school but literally people from this region I'm sure think "ew" when we say what school it is. Perception is way too important to folks. And perception is different to a college admissions committee who has a copy of the school's actual profile. We also have real diversity (the school is mostly Black and Hispanic- we are not), not just a few token kids and I think that has been an amazing thing. We also supplement with regional sports/arts to maybe get that friend cohort of other strivers that might be missing from our school. It's worked out.

But moving on to socially. I know families who felt like it just wasn't going well friend-wise in public and IDK, they kind of don't want to face it so they'd rather just blame the terrible school and go private where everything will be rainbows and butterflies. Usually it is not. The same problems tend to follow you- you just gain the privilege of now having to pay for them. There is sort of a survival of the fittest thing going on in public (and maybe private too sometimes depending on the school) which may be tough to witness as a parent- but usually shakes out with your kid having found their people. Publics tend to have a million clubs, activities that are very broad, IMO just bigger and more opportunities to find your place, and that's what you need. There's less rushing in from adults to fix things which is good. Bullying is not a thing like it was when we were kids. Sure there's online crap but in daily life, kids are pretty darn kind and accepting and open, even more so in public. (again, just my observation and opinion!)

I don't mean to offend, I think privates can be great for certain situations. I can see myself making that choice if it made more sense for our circumstances. I know there are many great outcomes from privates. Just going through my experience as a parent, I know I was really misguided about thinking about the right education for my kids-- hope it is is helpful.[/quote]

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