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[quote=Anonymous]I read once that the difference between trauma (which you get stuck on and struggle with) and simply a bad experience that you move past, is processing.

So childhood trauma occurs when there is a bad experience that a child is prevented from processing. Generally though lack of support from adults in their lives, but I think in some cases people are able to process bad experiences just by talking to siblings or friends, if they are fortunate. People can still process those events later in life, in therapy or on their own, but then there will be more to process -- the original event plus the years of suppressing or being unable to discuss or integrate that experience. Sometimes trauma can compound -- a person who was physically abused as a child might then wind up in an abusive relationship in adulthood, and it will be that much harder for them to untangle the layers of trauma because they will be connected.

So I suspect that when people are able to move on and let go of "parent wrongs" more easily, it is because they have had some opportunity to process it. Whether with their parents or through support of friends or community or even just someone telling them when they were still young and impressionable "you know what, that was wrong." Mostly people just want to feel like their experiences matter, and especially that if someone or something harmed them, that someone else cares. It is when people are left alone to deal with difficult experiences with no help, or event actively told "that didn't happen" or "your feelings about that are not merited" that people get stuck and struggle to move on.[/quote]

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