Reply to Helping a friend with mood issues in perimenopause

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, I am the PP that mentioned about his ex-gf behaving like this.

A few questions for you - has your friend always been like this or was she sweet and kind lady and just turned like this recently? what are her main stressors for life - money, relationships, work etc? That could contribute a lot for her behavior. is there anything that excites her - kids, going out, sports, beach etc? do you know if she has any other problems including depression?

This sounds a lot like my ex-gf who would also break up her relationship with childhood friends because they didn't respond on time. It was surprising for me but slowly got too much for me to handle. I was very patient with her and try to understand everything and we went to couples counseling but she also had a lot of other stressors in life such as money, other medical problems, childhood trauma etc. [/quote]

Friend was never easy-going, but was a normal, fun person to be around. Only over the past two or three years, did she start getting offended and cutting off friendships, and our hanging out increasingly consists of her complaining about people. The personality change didn't happen overnight, but over the course of many months. Her kids really became challenging and rebellious as teens, so maybe that's a part of it. But she does not have childhood trauma or the severe medical issues your ex girlfriend has, and no known depression. What a bummer that therapy did not work for your ex. Even when you know the other person doesn't mean to be difficult, it is still really important to protect yourself and your happiness.[/quote]

Thanks OP! I think your friend also needs some time to cool-off. Her DH could be patient but probably don't help her around house or kids stuff as much. Stay in touch with her even if she is in a bad mood. I have learned to communicate via texts when my ex-gf was having a bad mood because she would be very snappy and would get irritated or angry even if I ask a small normal question. It was not right for me to continue receiving her emotional punches or anger and I decided to separate myself from the situation. She is also very adamant. I always wondered if she has any kind of personality disorder because she would be very sweet a few mins ago calling me "love of her life", " her BFF", soulmates, etc and then get very angry that she would take a red eye flight back from west coast over a small argument. She is certainly in peri-menopause and have a few other hormonal problems. I feel sad for her and us but there is nothing you can do if some one is so focused on self-sabotaging. [/quote]

wow! This is just crazy. Does she have some kind of personality disorder? This doesn't sound normal. [/quote]

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