Reply to Keys to Thriving or Just Surviving in NW ES--Parents, I need your insights!

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Reply to "Keys to Thriving or Just Surviving in NW ES--Parents, I need your insights!"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your kid is THREE. I can tell you with great certainty that what is actually going to impact him is your intense anxiety and achievement focus.

Meanwhile I can tell you that about the only factor that I think actually matters for elementary school selection is location. A neighborhood school that kids can walk to will make it easier to make friends and will reduce time stress on the family. [/quote]

Thank you for your thoughts on this. It's reasonable to suggest that anxiety and focusing excessively on achievement can be harmful. You're probably right about the anxiety component (not even specifically re: ES, just in general). Believe me, I'm actively working on it in therapy; goodness knows I don't want my baggage to become my kid's baggage. My husband has been a fantastic support in that regard, and we certainly try out best to make our home a safe, loving space for our son.

That said, I'm much less concerned about achievement and more concerned about my kid being in an environment that doesn't make him miserable over the next 6 years. I'm happy to accept a less rigorous school if it means he can attend a school that reinforces his curiosity, empowers him to try his best, and sends the message that he and his efforts matter. I also don't want him drowning in 2+ hours of homework in 3rd and 4th grade (something I experienced in elementary and middle school), so we're trying to choose ESs with the future in mind. I can tell you anecdotally and from the educational psych and developmental psych literature that the things I've listed as our priorities matter A LOT, even in ES....they affect mental health outcomes (internalizing and externalizing disorders), long-term attitudes and motivation toward school and learning, persistence in problem-solving through difficult tasks, and resilience to stress in adulthood.

I recognize that a lot of these things start at home. We're cognizant of that and parent with these considerations in mind. I'm interested in knowing which schools have a solid track record of fostering a positive socioemotional and educational environment for my son. I've looked at the socioemotional development curricula at as many of the NW ESs as I could find, but that information doesn't tell me whether the school effectively implements those principles in the classroom. Hopefully this clarifies why I'm asking for parents' insights. [/quote]

Please check in with your therapist. This isn’t healthy. [/quote]

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