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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m in a mom friend group where we started out with babies but now travel together. The leader of this travel friend group is so bossy and calls all the shots. She is opinionated and not flexible so the rest of us have to just follow everything she does. She picks the dates, location, activities, food. It used to be fun to escape and get a break but now i dread these trips with her. I like the other people in the friend group.

Would you continue to go to see the other friends?[/quote]

Need more info.  Are you speaking up and what's happening?  Is she unlikeable (to you) during the trip?

You offer to plan the trip.  It's a lot of work to plan trips and doing it by committee makes it 10x more work.  You're riding her free labor and probably all of you have been doing it a while.  So maybe she's just lost the niceties.  Or plan a trip and don't include her if you don't like her.[/quote]

Op here. We have been on several trips together. We used to have long text chains on activities, restaurants, lodging, etc. Now there is no discussion. She picks dates that work for her, books lodging and says she can always cancel later and then makes reservations just in case. I don’t think she wants other people’s inputs. She does not compromise.[/quote]

Bet those long texts were obnoxious and annoying. Probably better someone just took charge.[/quote]

I can see both sides here. I do have a friend who literally forgets that anyone else has preferences so we have to remind her when the topic of where to go to dinner comes up. But also, I've planned trips and the "helpful" comments from people aren't actually all that helpful when no one makes a decision. For example, I just sent six books to the book group I used to be in (faded out about a year ago and we had recently discussed trying to get it back together). I sent links to each book so they could read about the plot, reviews, etc. One person said oh one of those is on my list. Another said I have a different book but I don't think any of you will like it. Three didn't respond. One said thanks but nothing else. So at this point, I have two choices: (1) just drop it and wait for someone else to take charge and pick a book or (2) pick a book and tell them this is what we're reading. If I choose option 1, which I'm going to do because I'm busy enough right now, there will be no book club. If I choose option 2, one of them could post on DCUM that they're in a book club but they hate that I just always pick the book we're going to read.

OP, I suggest you act like a big girl and use your words. If you really don't care about the trip plans, then be appreciative that this woman does all the leg work (and it is a lot of work!) and enjoy the trip. If you do care about the plans, then speak up and say no, I actually don't want to eat there. And then, and this is key, make your own suggestion![/quote]

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