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[quote=Anonymous]If this scenario plays out, I would:

1. Be sympathetic about his feelings of disappointment and let him talk about them.  Say something along the lines of, “I understand that you’re disappointed. Sometimes admissions decisions aren’t completely predictable. I’m proud of you for working so hard on your application and in school and I think you have some other great choices.”

If he asks if it was because of his friends’ parents’ connections, I would say, “that definitely can be helpful, but no one knows why admissions committees make decisions.”

2. Focus on his other options and help DS get excited about them.  Go to the events for admitted students.  Go to a basketball game, a play, etc. where he is accepted. Help him to see himself at the school he would attend.

I would not tell him it’s so unfair that his friend was admitted over him or tell him it definitely was because the friend’s parents are donors. The truth is admissions decisions are unpredictable and you don’t know the reason with certainty.  By being full pay (something completely out of his control) and having attended a private k-8, he has his own advantages over plenty of other applicants.  But, if he gets accepted, you wouldn’t undermine his accomplishment by telling him that, so don’t encourage him to do that to his friend.  Wallowing in self pity and unfairness isn’t a good look, especially for a kid who has his own advantages.[/quote]

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