Reply to How often do you tell your children no when it comes to affection?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I say no when *I* don't feel like being touched. It's important for me to model to my kids that no means no, and girls/women are allowed to say no to unwanted touch.

But I don't say no just because I don't want them getting clingy. If we're both down for a hug, we hug. [/quote]

How often do you refuse them hugs, and how old are they?
I don’t see a parent responding physically to a toddler (for example) as being in any way related to bodily consent. It’s just parenting. [/quote]

3 and 9. Typically I refuse hugs if I’m overstimulated and taking a break from kids, in which case it’s “mommy needs a mental break, I’ll hug you in 10 minutes”, or times where touching mom is strictly off limits, such as when I’m working out. Then we reconnect and can hug afterwards.

Also, most kids aren’t verbally saying “can I have a hug” until they’re older. Young kids just come over and latch on. If you’re doing something and don’t want a small kid hanging off of you, totally okay to say not now to them. Some kids are also extremely clingy and will hang on you hours a day - that’s not great.

We do a lot of physical touch. We cuddle a lot, hug a lot, etc. But everyone knows they are allowed to refuse hugs or other unwanted touch. My kids will often tell each other to stop touching them. Parents also get to do that. [/quote]

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