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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m hoping to get some perspective from parents who’ve been through this.
 My 15 year old daughter is a freshman this year. She didn’t get into a selective high school and is attending our in boundary school, which has been a bigger adjustment than we anticipated.
She has friends and is doing ok academically, but she’s not happy and feels overwhelmed much of the time. She often says she misses her friends who ended up at other schools, and she really misses her old life in middle school. 
We’re also seeing changes that worry us a bit. she chose not to try out for the basketball team this year (something she used to enjoy) and hasn’t been very interested in extracurriculars in general which wasn’t the case last year in middle school. 
Unfortunately, private school isn’t financially an option for us, so we’re trying to understand whether this is a fairly typical freshman-year adjustment or a sign that she’s truly struggling and may need a different path.
I’d really appreciate hearing from parents whose kids went through something similar-did things improve with time, or did you end up making a change? Thank you so much for any insight.[/quote]

When I was a little younger than your daughter there were some big changes in my family and life. Parents divorcing, sibling separation, moving to a new town and school. My parents never told me why, just suddenly separated and I was relocating to a new town and location. I also lost contact with my friends.

I was already the “more difficult” one out of my brother and sister and I knew it. If anyone was going to get in trouble it was usually me. Added to that that I was never told what was going on, or why. I felt like I was the cause of the problems and I did not handle it well at all.

I started skipping classes, fighting, getting into trouble regularly and mixing with the wrong crowd. Going from an A grade student to regular Fs on my report cards. There were also other behavioral problems I developed such as intentionally soiling my underwear.

Before the changes I had some good friends that I suddenly lost contact with, and I felt like I was being punished. I strongly believe that if I knew what was going on and the reasons behind the changes, things would have been different.

My advice is keep her informed and make sure she keeps in contact with her friends, especially if they are good kid/s and will support her. Also, if she likes sports make sure, she has the opportunity to participate in team type activities. [/quote]

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