Reply to How do people keep their regular lives going during divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m so sorry OP.
That sounds very stressful.
I can’t imagine the circumstances that would cause you’re DH to act this way—particularly if it’s a divorce YOU did not want.
I sort of get him acting all mad and crazy if he caught you cheating and is irreparably hurt by it or if you insisted on divorcing and taking the kids and he is hell-bent in not letting that happen.
But since you said in your original post that you are in the middle of a “very unwanted and very litigious divorce,” I’m trying to make sense of that since it seems like he is initiating the divorce and choosing to be nasty and difficult for no reason? Are you sure he knows that you do not want a divorce?? It just makes no sense for him to go nuclear when you aren’t pushing his buttons. And given that in 85% of all hetero divirces, it’s the woman who files, this is definitely unusual.
Hang in there.[/quote]

OP here and well aware how unusual it is. I shouldn’t share too many details. Basically last year I finally stood up to his bad behavior, he threw the equivalent of a toddler tantrum, quieted down for a few months, and then started turning on our tween DDs (but not our younger DS). When the girls pushed back before I even could, he went verbally crazy at them. Then disappeared, as in took his work laptop and keys and was gone. Then filed.

I think he felt caught and ashamed and so he panicked. I had tried to get him to make amends and seek counseling. Instead he was just gone- like I literally had NO idea where he was for 10 days- and then filed. It seems possible from bank activity that he had an attorney and filing lined up way back when I started standing up to him and just had to pull the trigger. [/quote]

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