Reply to I feel like I'm drowning. How do two full time working parents do it?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, hang in there. It can be done. We are a two working parent household with family out of state and not a huge network of support around us. Two kids, 6 and 4. Yes, you're probably thinking it's easier, and in some ways it is, but try adding another kid and homework x 2 plus after school activities x2 to your schedule... Point is, it never "gets" easier, just difficult in a different way. Anyway, here are my tips:

1. Divide and conquer. A lot easier to do with 1 than with 2. But each of you should get a few kid-free hours each weekend to do whatever. Gym, errands, prep meals for the week, a quick clean or an hour or so of yardwork. 
2. When your kid wakes up from a nap, resist the urge to run upstairs and get him right away. We did this for a long time, but eventually we figured out that DD was "not quite awake" and pretty desperately needed more sleep. Once we stopped running to her at first sound, she slept a good solid 2 hours each nap. Not saying that this will happen with your kid, but even if your baby is awake, it is OK to stay in the crib for another 15-20 minutes so you can finish chopping the veggies or dry yourself off from your shower. 
3. No, you don't have to play with baby all his waking hours. It is OK if you put him down somewhere where he can roll around on the floor, with some soft toys and board books while you're in sight, but still get a few things done. No, you're not a bad mom for doing this. 
4. Meals. We do (and always have) had family dinners, and 90% of the time I cook meals from scratch (Yes, we get home around 6). By meals, I mean the easiest and most boring menu imaginable. We have pasta with stir fried veggies at least once a week, breakfast for dinner at least once a week, something in the crockpot that I usually cook overnight, soup and sandwiches, grilled cheese. Definitely boring, but hey, right now it's survival mode. So find a few quick and easy recipes, prep on the weekends (you can chop pretty much a week's worth of veggies on Sunday) and the crockpot is your friend. I also almost never cook for just one day - leftovers are great, either for lunch, or for dinner the next night. 
5.Sort of related - plan your meals, write a list and only go to the grocery store once a week. Huge time saver! Plus, you never have to scramble at 6PM trying to figure out what to make for dinner that night. 
6. Cleaning person - I still do a lot of cleaning, but every two weeks the house gets scrubbed from top to bottom, and it's great!
7. Ultimately, I was able to change my schedule to 80% and now I have one week-day off. I can't tell you how big a difference this meant to my general outlook on life. Every week I volunteer at my kids' school in the morning, and have lunch with them. This leaves my afternoon free to do all those other things that I dind't get around to during the week: Target run, drycleaning, buying clothes or shoes, or refilling art supplies for the kids, figuring out what they needed for the next sports activity, schedule summer camps, book vacations, pay bills, organize family photos, file, cull out old clothes and toys for donations, you know, the five million other things in life. Yes, I did the math on how much it was costing me, and it was shocking, but I still think it's worth it because our family runs so much more smoothly, there are a lot fewer arguments with DH about who does what and why certain things never seem to get done, and overall I am more patient with everyone, in a better mood - no way $800 in therapy a month would have been able to accomplish all this for me. So if you can do it, I say go for it! (BTW, if you are working 32 hours a week, that is still considered "full time" and you should be eligible for benefits, right?)

Good luck, hang in there, and I hope you figure out how to be happier. This is a special time, don't waste it by being stressed, angry and overwhelmed. [/quote]

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