Reply to Parents are overwhelmed w/ selling house and downsizing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks everyone - I should have been clear - [b]my parents have toured and know the exact place they plan to move to.[/b] My brother and I need to figure out how to get them there.

It does sound like we will just have to take over. We always knew they'd need help and planned to be there for it, but have been waiting for them to make the decision. These responses are crystallizing that my brother and I are going to have to just go do it.  I think they will listen to him forcing the issue and then will let me do all the planning/execution.[/quote]

OP, no. That's not how this works. It's not like this place is holding an apartment empty just waiting for your parents to walk in the door! It's great that they have a favorite but you CANNOT count on them being able to move in the moment they're in a crisis or decide they want to. You need to have at least a backup option in mind. And you must remember that if this is crisis-driven, they may need a short-term rehab or something to retain the level of functioning that's needed for the place they actually want.

You need to second-guess all of their decisions because they're not going to be realistic. Make sure the place they want is right for their actual level of care right now. It's not enough that they like it. It needs to meet their needs-- their actual needs, including the needs they're in denial about and the needs they will likely develop in the next few years. Otherwise they might be turned away.[/quote]

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