Reply to For women, having a great dad is like winning the lottery

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Reply to "For women, having a great dad is like winning the lottery"

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with the OP completely. My dad was mostly absent from my (and my siblings) lives growing up. He would come to pick us up, like once a month, and spend a few hours with us. It wasn't like he was abusive or we didn't know who our dad was, but he really wasn't around or supportive in any way. My mother struggled greatly with being a single parent, and our lives were filled with financial and emotional struggles. He went on with his life and remarried several times, and left us and my mom to basically fend for ourselves. I don't hate my dad, but I'm not sure I can honestly say I love him either.  I have a relationship with him where we talk 1-2 times a year and exchange birthday and Christmas cards.

On the other hand, my husband is a wonderful, caring person and is a spectacular father to our daughters. He is present, supportive, and fully engaged in their lives. I often watch them together and get a profound sense of joy knowing that they will never know the ache of wondering if they are loved, or good enough, or fearful of being alone, that I knew as a child. The emotional safety net is huge. They have no clue, but they will absolutely benefit from this gift for the rest of their lives.

FWIW - I spent most of my life choosing the wrong guys until in my 30's I'd had enough, and got a therapist to help me figure it all out. Once I let all those feelings of inadequacy go from trying to earn my dads love, I met my husband. [/quote]

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