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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP and these responses are helpful, but kind of confirm that there would be a judgement/negative assumptions made if I state I don’t have custody without context.  I mean, I get it, but it sucks.  I don’t think people make negative judgements about men who don’t have custody. [/quote]

I definitely make negative judgements about it.

Do you see your kids at all?

Honestly I think the problem here is that you don’t seem to be owning up to whatever led to this. You shouldn’t have been in such a precarious financial situation in the first place and shouldn’t have sent your kids away. [/quote]

This is OP. I see my kids 10 weeks during the year, and travel to see them/coordinate additional travel on top of agreed-upon throughout the year and have since I could afford it.

I was a SAHM and pregnant when I found out my ex cheated, then I took out a credit card to escape an abusive situation.  I was poor and I didn’t get a salaried job until 2021, right after the divorce. I just never had money and my ex was financially abusive so wasn’t able to save anything to leave.  Like I posted previously, no family support or other people I could ask for help.

I do regret sending my kids away, but I was living in a car-dependent place, taking classes and working full-time with my kids in daycare and preschool.  Which I wouldn’t have been able to sustain without a car.  Hindsight is 20/20. I didn’t think my husband would try to keep custody, and would weaponize the custody he had/the court system.

So yeah - your reaction is why I don’t disclose. And probably will continue not to disclose.  People really assume the worst! And I’m not going to tell everyone this tale, obviously.[/quote]

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