Reply to When you look back, how much control in HS is too much?

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[quote=Anonymous]Well I don’t have adult children yet, I have a HS sophomore and senior. Our plan is to expect a lot from them because we know they’re smart and capable. We need to see them working hard—if they work hard and still get a C then that’s ok, but not working for it does not fly in our house. We check grades once a week on the weekend, and we ask about missing assignments or talk about making things up, but we don’t hover, I haven’t seen any assignment they do unless they ask me to look at it.

I think we did well early on by giving them age appropriate chores, and making them responsible for their own sports gear and packing their own school bag and pool bags from a very young age. No mom or dad toting all the towels and goggles or running around the house helping them find their cleats. We set them up with systems (ie this box is for shinguards and cleats, this box for soccer socks) and expected them to be part of the process of making those get back in the right place. We made lists but made them back their own bags for vacations and keep track of their own things. All of these things help build their executive functioning. One of my kids does have ADHD so we had more reminders for that one and more systems, but those expectations helped grow their capacity.

We also aren’t afraid of having limits on their phones. Phones are sucking out their attention spans in a bad way. Don’t get sucked in to “all my friends can have their phones in their room at night” and “none of my friends have a time limit on instagram.” Be strong and lock it down as needed. [/quote]

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