Reply to Is it better to go to Vienna vs. McLean schools

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The higher the income neighborhood, the harder to go in. Also, try to NOT go to a center school. Easier to get in.[/quote]

Disagree with the advice to not move to the center. Yes it feels awful to not get in AAP but at least your kid is rubbing elbows with a big pool of AAP kids at recess, lunch, etc. this may lead to friendships with bright kids, and better potential dating pool if your kid is into that (ie: if your kid has a pulse).[/quote]

This is a very bizarre, even disturbing, take. You're concerned about a potential dating pool for a 3rd to 8th grade student? Gross.

Kids in AAP are not "better" than other kids. I teach AAP in middle school. Two of my classes are AAP, two are general education, and one is honors. Guess which classes have at least 75% of my most significant behavior issues? That's right, the AAP classes!  Those classes are 40% of my students, but 75% of my behavior issues.  [/quote]

You are a liar. You're not a teacher. You're a parent of a child that didn't get into AAP. And of course you're not concerned about the dating pool for your child, it's nonexistent. Regardless of yours or my feelings on the matter, the reality is that kids have crushes and want to date each other as young as 4th/5th grade. It happens (and you would know that if you were actually a teacher) but don't worry, your child will not have to deal with it because... well, you already know why. :oops: [/quote]

I’m not lying. I am in fact a teacher. It is [u]incredibly[/u] disturbing to focus on a “dating pool” for children who are 8–13 years old.

[b][u]Some research about early vs. late dating behavior that you may find interesting, and [i]hopefully[/i] persuasive:[/u][/b]

- Developmental readiness: National public health guidance emphasizes supporting physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral development in childhood and early adolescence, prioritizing sleep, school success, and secure relationships with caregivers, none of which require or benefit from romantic involvement at ages 8–13. Introducing dating, or even the idea of dating, during this stage can add stressors that conflict with core developmental needs and preventive-care priorities.

- Risk of victimization and harm: Adolescent dating violence is a documented public health problem. National-level research shows substantial prevalence of verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual dating violence among teens, with associations to depression, anxiety, substance use, and suicidal ideation. Beginning romantic relationships even earlier than teen years [u]increases exposure to these risks[/u] before children have developed the skills to navigate them safely.

- Prevention models target pre-dating ages: Evidence-based programs like the CDC’s "Dating Matters" focus on teaching healthy relationship skills to 11–to-14-year-olds “before they start dating,” precisely to reduce risk behaviors and prevent victimization, underscoring that early adolescence is for [u] skill-building [/u] rather than dating itself.

[b]Outcomes of delaying dating versus early dating:[/b]

Factor: Exposure to interpersonal violence risk 
--- Early dating (middle school/early HS): Higher prevalence and earlier exposure to dating violence and associated harms 
--- Delayed dating (late HS or later): Reduced exposure during skill-building years; prevention benefits align with later initiation

Factor:  Mental health correlates 
--- Early dating (middle school/early HS): Increased depression, anxiety, and substance use correlates in populations experiencing teen dating violence 
--- Delayed dating (late HS or later):  Lower near-term risk profiles when skills are taught before dating; better fit with developmental priorities

Factor: Skill development timing 
--- Early dating (middle school/early HS): Relationship skills often underdeveloped, increasing conflict and coercion risk
--- Delayed dating (late HS or later): Skills taught first, then applied, improving safety and boundary-setting

[i]Delaying[/i] dating aligns with best practices for physical and mental health: teach communication, boundaries, and safety first; [u]then[/u] introduce romantic contexts. Longitudinal work on teen dating violence shows trajectories from adolescent victimization into adulthood, reinforcing the value of later initiation [u]after[/u] skills and supports are in place.

>>> In short: early romantic involvement can outpace children's emotional regulation and safety skills, elevating risks that all the public health frameworks explicitly aim to prevent in early adolescence. We are [u]fighting[/u] to keep kids safe in this ever-changing world, and promoting early dating elevates risk to children's physical and mental health.<<<
[/quote]

No one actually thinks kids should be dating. But the reality is, they do whether we like it or not. Sure we can keep pretending they don't try to partner up together, that the dating pool of peers doesn't matter because they would never ever get together ever... but really? I mean yeah, I wish I could just close my eyes and DC doesn't have any feelings for anyone until they hit junior/senior year of college. But just because I want that, doesn't make it true.[/quote]

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