Reply to 19 year gap - Will everything be okay?

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Reply to "19 year gap - Will everything be okay?"

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[quote=Anonymous]He’ll be retirement age in 20 years. Does he currently have enough money to:

- Pay for his current kids’ college
- Pay for children with you
- Pay for your kids’ college
- Pay for his older kids’ inheritance
- Pay for your kids’ inheritance 
- Leave money to you, since presumably he will pass away 20-30 years before you do

When you’re 27, kid expenses don’t seem like a lot of money, and 20 years seems like forever. But 20 years really is not enough time to accumulate enough money to cover all the expenses listed above.

If he’s been through a divorce, his finances are likely not great. You need to sit down with him and go over it with a fine toothed comb to make sure there will be enough.

Personally, as someone who did marry and have a child with an older man, I would not. I didn’t realize how much more difficult the financial situation would be. I had to work multiple jobs just to cover our expenses and ended up contributing to his kids college expenses since he wasn’t.

Also, get rid of any ideas that you’ll be the Brady Bunch. His kids will resent you and any kids you have. You need to understand that going in, they’re not going to love your kids like siblings, they’re going to see them as the thing that took their dad away.

If you somehow have a massive stockpile of cash and you understand his older kids need to come first, it can work. Other wise you’re signing up for a lifetime of conflict and misery. [/quote]

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