Reply to Holiday advice from those who are low-contact with their parents

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Holiday advice from those who are low-contact with their parents"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]The biggest thing for me:

Do not pressure him to do anything. Let him decide. If he said he'd send his parents a card and then doesn't, say nothing. If he said he didn't want to talk to them but decides to call them Christmas Day, say "ok, I support you and am hear to talk after if you want."

Don't try to convince him he needs to do anything or not do anything, because one of the hardest things about going low contact is the guilt you feel over not fulfilling an obligation to your parents. So you often wind up torn between reaching out and not, even when you have affirmatively made a larger choice to spend the holiday apart or to stay away from them more generally.

I am low contact with my parents and my DH is generally great about this, but in the last year I scheduled a trip to see them (first in years, short trip, main goal was to facilitate my kids seeing them) and when I was struggling with booking tickets and deciding how long to go, DH kind of leaned on me and said stuff like "you said you wanted to do this" or "I think it would be nice to see them." I know he thought he was being supportive because I *had* said I wanted to visit them. But even that minimal pressure exacerbated my stress. It is easier for me to work through that on my own and then have him support what I decide. It's my family so I need to trust my gut and not get caught up in what I "should" do or what other people would do with regards to their families.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics