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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for your replies. Yes, obviously I don't know. That's what he says.  We have pretty open relationship.  I know for sure he is constantly facetiming because it's the same way when he comes home. His phone is on all the time. And he plays video games at home with his old friends.  So I just assume when he says that's what he does in his free time in college - it's true. I don't think he has a secret social life and not telling me about. That would be very strange. [/quote]
DS kept his HS gf the first year and half at college, and I told him that would be a mistake.  They decided they'd try to actually visit each other at least once per month, sometimes 2x.  It was about a 3.5 hour bus ride.

I told him that doing this meant he wasn't going to be plugged into a social scene at school because he would not be around half the time.  He also spent a lot of free time facetiming with the gf.   I also told him that if they broke up, he wouldn't have a good social circle in place to fill that void.

Everything I said came true.  They broke up and, he had a rough 6 months after the breakup in terms of social circle (also had to find new roommates).  But, luckily, he found himself a group only because it was through the one social club he managed to hold onto.  Prior to the breakup, he wasn't really close to anyone in that social club.   If he hadn't had this one social club, I'm pretty sure he would've been depressed. He also managed to find roommates through this social club.

DS is somewhat of an introvert, though they do like to party now.  But, it's especially important when in college to have a somewhat close social circle, particularly for boys who are more susceptible to go down the internet alt-right rabbit hole when they spend too much time alone.[/quote] THe GF is the differentiator and as long as he continues to date her other friends will be secondary. Either way I think you need to take your son at his word his i say this gently..butt out. He is an adult and does not need his Mom managing his social life. [/quote]

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