Reply to 35, pregnant, and unwed.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]sometimes men realize or know things about other men that men don't realize or know. it's kinda interesting that all the men in your family are unenthusiastic about all this. maybe they know something you don't. hopefully not.

if you guys want to get married, why aren't you married already? I mean if you are waiting until you are out of the miscarriage window, that kinda indicates that you WOULDNT be married without the pregnancy. [/quote]

I think he’s more so the men think I’m a baby. My aunt wanted me to pull my uncle aside before telling others I was pregnant because she said he’s so protective of me. I thought that was bizarre.

Kind of give you better insight into my family, our entire family gets together for Thanksgiving at a beach house for a week every year. We rotate taking turns hosting, and last year it happened to be aunt and uncle[b]. I asked if it was okay to bring my SO. My aunt (my mom’s sister) said she was fine with it but wanted me to ask my uncle separately for permission because “it would make him feel better” and that she was requiring my other cousins do the same when asking to  bring their SO. My other cousins were 19 and 20 y/o last year…. I thought asking me to go through that extra hoop was weird, so I opted out.[/b]

Why aren’t we married yet? I didn’t find out I was pregnant until last month. He just asked for my dad’s permission the day after Thanksgiving. Then we told him I was pregnant a couple of days later (was hoping it would soften the blow). He’s getting my ring custom made and he knows that I still would like a surprise proposal (still want some of the traditional things). It’s only been a few weeks since we found out. [/quote]

Oh I remember your post! I'm glad you didn't go. So knowing that, I think your family is just weird or from a different culture. I doubt its anything to do with your fiancé, it's that you're a woman and they will judge you no matter what. And I say that as someone who is pretty traditional about premarital pregnancy. Your dad is giving you a hard time no matter what. He wanted you to be married, you are getting married. But he doesn't like the way you're doing it and complaining about that too. It sounds like your family thinks they own you, I am so sorry your mom is not there to be a buffer and support you. Look, I'd do a small ceremony and invite your dad and stay civil, but I would not try to hard to please him or have a deep relationship. I would lean into your in-laws, who seem nicer.[/quote]

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