Reply to 35, pregnant, and unwed.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]sometimes men realize or know things about other men that men don't realize or know. it's kinda interesting that all the men in your family are unenthusiastic about all this. maybe they know something you don't. hopefully not.

if you guys want to get married, why aren't you married already? I mean if you are waiting until you are out of the miscarriage window, that kinda indicates that you WOULDNT be married without the pregnancy. [/quote]

I think he’s more so the men think I’m a baby. My aunt wanted me to pull my uncle aside before telling others I was pregnant because she said he’s so protective of me. I thought that was bizarre.

Kind of give you better insight into my family, our entire family gets together for Thanksgiving at a beach house for a week every year. We rotate taking turns hosting, and last year it happened to be aunt and uncle. I asked if it was okay to bring my SO. My aunt (my mom’s sister) said she was fine with it but wanted me to ask my uncle separately for permission because “it would make him feel better” and that she was requiring my other cousins do the same when asking to  bring their SO. My other cousins were 19 and 20 y/o last year…. I thought asking me to go through that extra hoop was weird, so I opted out.

Why aren’t we married yet? I didn’t find out I was pregnant until last month. He just asked for my dad’s permission the day after Thanksgiving. [b]Then we told him I was pregnant a couple of days later (was hoping it would soften the blow). [/b]He’s getting my ring custom made and he knows that I still would like a surprise proposal (still want some of the traditional things). It’s only been a few weeks since we found out. [/quote]

Op you aren’t being fully honest est with us or yourself. Now you are saying that after 17 years of being together he decided to marry you only because you are pregnant (“lessen the blow”). He could have married you any time during those 17 years but didn’t. He’s not a regular around your family. You let yourself get pregnant. I suspect you did this on purpose and now he’s getting hoodwinked into marrying you. Of course your family is concerned.

You also excuse your situation by saying to your dad you can’t take on “preparing for a wedding of 199” but balk at the simple justice of the peace solution with nice wedding after. Boyfriend doesn’t want to do that, am I correct?

Yes, there is a difference in how your boyfriend’s family will react compared to yours. You are the female and you are the one with the problems. He can walk anytime he wants.

You know the answers. You just want to pile on your family here, and get our sympathy. Get your act together and get a simple wedding … unless boyfriend refuses. Easy, done.

It’s also telling that you have said nothing about finances or how you are going to support this baby alone. No wonder your family is concerned. They are also concerned that by having this baby you make yourself less eligible for other marriage opportunities post 36. Very few men want to marry a woman with another man’s baby.[/quote]

Where did I say we’ve been together for 17 years? In fact, in my OP I said we’ve been together 1.5 years.

[quote] My SO and I have been happily together for 1.5 years. We met when I was 18, tried dating throughout the years but the timing was always off until recently.[/quote]

[quote] This is the first time he and I have been in a relationship. We tried, mainly in our young 20s, to date but we didn’t get into anything exclusive. He lived hours away during that time, so between us not being exclusive and the distance there was no need to ever meet my family.[/quote]

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