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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In old times if [b]you moved to another continent, you never saw your family of origin again[/b]. People who spent holidays together lived in the same village/town. Nowadays it's quite common to live far apart due to jobs or studies or what not. Meaning there's already less contact every day and as time goes by, memories are created with other people, who live closer. It's also a lot of effort to pack up your family and go visit far away compared to running out of one house into another in a village. [/quote]

This. Nobody called my grandfather and his siblings estranged from the parents, but they all moved to another continent and that was the end.

Also, there were estrangements on both sides of my family and my husbands. You only called it that if they lived within an hour of eachother. If they lived farther, it was just the aunt you rarely saw.

I don't really know if it has become more common. I think there is now less shame and judgment more empathy toward the adult child than there used to be. I find women used to be more judgmental of this sort of thing, but now that enough women have spent plenty of time in the workplace, even if you never had an emotionally abusive parent or sibling, you probably have experienced an emotionally abusive boss or a coworker who undermines you every chance they get.

Also new stressors are pushing things to the brink. I wouldn't be surprised if more estrangements happened after Covid lockdown. Suddenly your challenging parent doesn't see any of her friends and she wants you to be her life and her number one way to manage stress is to throw tantrums and blame you for anything. Facebook/IG make the keeping up with the Jones' parent or sibling expect you to have more gatherings and pose for more fake happy photos when years ago those people might have accepted you weren't close and could only fake it once or twice a year. More people are getting cancer and autoimmune issues young. Many of us are stretched too thin between work, caregiving and our own ailments and we no longer have the bandwidth for dramas and nastiness. There are no reserves and if it's a choice between spending a holiday as a nuclear family or spending it in chaos you chose peace.

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