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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If he's going to be difficult, he's going to be difficult. If it's not this, it'll be something else, because attacking you is how he alleviates his guilt. You can keep your communications with him very flat and boring. If he asks when it is, respond with a link to the club website. If he asks if the kids want him to come, say "Well, you could ask them" or "I'm not sure" or something.

You need to accept that your kids will be upset, they will be angry, and they will be very much off their game in every aspect of life. You can't fix it. They're maybe going to lose their jumps for a while. Be at peace with it and stop trying to fix it. Your kids will be better off with you accepting that things are what they are, rather than trying to optimize it by overthinking every little thing. I said on another thread, dumped wives tend to do this "salvaging" behavior where they're trying their very hardest to minimize the impact on the kids, and it just doesn't work very well. Do everyone a favor and accept that they'll be impacted and may have a bad year skating. Divorce is damaging and the best thing we can do is see it clearly.

[/quote]

Thank you. This is a realistic way to see it.

It hurts to know that he chose this and they have to suffer for it.

The oldest is at an up-or-out point in skating where if things don’t come together for her this season, she’ll probably have to move on to a different version of the sport (like synchro) or leave it altogether. I hate this for her. She’s hard on herself and can’t see that this isn’t about her shortcomings but about the weight of having to live through an adult’s decision and the problems it’s created.

I wish I could make this impact only me and not my kids. [/quote]

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