Reply to School has labeled my child as a “problem child”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think that any poster is doing the OP -- who says she herself has a well documented mental health problem -- any favors in suggesting the school might be the issue.  [/quote]

I could not disagree more. Schools absolutely flail with kids who diverge from the norm in behavior. OP seems clear that her child needs supports- but the school is literally not doing a single thing to help the kid, and likely a lot of things to make it worse.

OP you have gotten a surprising amount of good advice on this thread - I expected it to be more like PP here. You could also try posting on the SN forum.

My opinion is that you should move schools to a public (if you are not there) or a different public. Privates generally cannot handle defiant behavior or eloping. This teacher and principal have showed you that they have zero understanding or care for your daughter’s challenges. I can’t tell you how much we suffered from the same when my kiddo was younger and had similar issues.

I think that elementary schools struggle with kids that don’t fit a mold. For reasons I don’t totally understand, teachers and administrators never seemed to understand my DS until middle school. Not all of them do, but there are a significant number that really get him now, and the ones that don’t are still more capable of rolling with it. I think maybe that’s because people who choose to work in MS don’t have some illusion that kids are all little rays of sunshine, so they are less thrown off by “bad” behavior.

That said schools and teachers absolutely differ even in elementary. This school is not working for your kid, so you should leave sooner rather than later. That’s hard to do when kids are older but easy in K.

It also sounds like she will need a diagnosis to access more supports eventually. So get going on that. The key to getting an IEP is documenting that her behavior is the issue so this is an easier lift than some other kids. But you still need a disability (or a “developmental delay”) in some school systems. when my child’s main issue was behavioral health got an IEP under the developmental delay code with no diagnosis at all (just severely delayed fine motor). I am a very adamant plaintiff’s lawyer so I was able to make that happen on my own but you may need an advocate. GL! You are not alone. [/quote]

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