Reply to My friends are telling me to be mean to men

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[quote=Anonymous]I have never been a people pleaser, but I don’t think I’m mean. I married a quality guy and have been happy for 20 years.

Here is what that looked like in my specific case. His main flaw is being time blind from ADHD. His friends had horror stories about him being horrifically late for things. That simply was unacceptable to me. So, I told him to manage my expectations. If we had plans to go to dinner, he should call me when he left work (45 minutes away) and I would get ready then. Because if I sat around waiting and he was 15 minutes late, it would be super irritating. I also told him I would leave for events at x time and if he wasn’t there, I would leave without him and he could meet me there. I even said this when we booked a trip overseas. I was going to the airport at x time. I think I maybe left without him once for a minor event thing. He learned to do things like set alarms on his phone, etc that are still strategies he uses 20 years later. The kids get picked up from activities on time, etc. is he occasionally a little late? Sure. Is it a big deal? No.

There are things I have worked on as well to be a better partner.[/quote]

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