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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I think you need to leave your children alone.

Your kids remember 34-39 years of mom. You found a replacement in 1.  Got serious in 3 months.  You really don't even know this lady.  How long was it between dating your wife and getting married?
[/b]
You don't have to die alone.  Your kids told you they were okay with your dating, just to keep it out of their faces.

What real reason do you have to force this?  I think none.  You don't have to have holidays all together.  You also don't need to marry your girlfriend right now or ever.  Your girlfriend doesn't need your children's approval.

Cool your jets.  Give your kids another year.
[/quote]

+1
I was your daughter some years back. Almost to the same age and the same amount of time my mom and dad were married before my mom died.
About a year after my mom's death my dad became very serious about a woman in a very short time. In other words, he didn't "date". He met someone and moved on. There is a difference but that is not what I want to say here.
My dad suddenly had this "that was that [his past life] and I deserve this now" attitude that was so different from the man I knew as my father, a man who always put his family first. He was acting so differently perhaps because on some level he was nervous about all the changes too? But this "new dad" scared me and people become defensive when they are scared. 
OP, your daughter is scared. She does not want to lose her father as well as her mother and while you will undoubtedly deny doing so, I am willing to bet that you are acting differently and in a way that is unfamiliar to her. 
OP, please flip your script. Yes, you should not "die alone". Your children do not want you to be alone. But maybe try to not make this new relationship and the new life you are striving towards all about you right now. Please first think -- and I mean really think -- about what your children need right now. Yes, they are adults but they are your children and they still need you to be their dad. You are still their parent and you still have a responsibility to them. So flip the script and instead of coming at them about "me, me, me" try to communicate these changes you are wanting by recognizing that this is a lot for them to adjust too. That you will always be their dad and that you will always love their mom. Instead, I hear your language to your daughter as being more of a "hey, its my turn now" and that is not the kind of team building that is needed. If my dad had done just a bit of that, I would have instantly recognized his intentions and felt better about all that was happening.

Oh, and there was no way on this good earth that you should have brought up your Will at this time. Your poor daughter. Way to throw everything at her at once. So unfair and a big failure on your part there and I feel you owe your daughter an apology. Let your kids process what is going on in your life one step at a time. You owe them at least that.[/quote]

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