Reply to Feeling like I'm the spouse who is always "on" and keeping things in order

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Feeling like I'm the spouse who is always "on" and keeping things in order"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our situation is similar. I’m the only one who notices / cleans / organizes / makes appts / follows up / keeps track etc etc. I was really sick for awhile and couldn’t do any of it and everything became a total sh*t show in our house. And I realized he doesn’t do these things because he does not notice, or care, about these things until something becomes an emergency, and then he’ll do the bare minimum to get back on track. I know he has ADHD so. Try to cut him some slack but it’s hard to be the one who shoulders everything to make a household run smoothly. I’m sorry.[/quote]

Yes. I realized the problem when I had a two week work commitment that meant I couldn't do the noticing/cleaning/organizing for two weeks. It was a total one off thing, never to be repeated (a training I had to do in a nearby city in order to get a certification necessary to take a promotion). DH *still* talks about that two week period, years later, as having "almost broke us." Because I wasn't staying on top of everything and he had to do some of the stuff I do all the time. It totally overwhelmed him.

I've worked in the intervening years to make sure he is more prepared to do that stuff if necessary because it actually scared me about what would happen if I got very sick or something. It's still very unequal, but I will literally say to him "you have to learn how to do this in case I can't" and that freaks him out and he'll do it.

So maybe try reminding him that you might die will help? That's the only thing that seems to have made my DH feel like he has an obligation to do it.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics