Reply to Feeling like I'm the spouse who is always "on" and keeping things in order

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[quote=Anonymous]If it makes you feel better (questionable), my DH is a doer, and spends a lot of time cleaning, working on the yard, maintaining cars, taking care of bills, and otherwise not sitting still. He still has no clue about kids' holey shoes or how to organize literally anything or a piece of trash stuck in the shrubs. He doesn't know when band practice is or our kids friends' names. He can clean the whole kitchen without noticing the grime along the grout or a sticky puddle on the floor. He'll fold three loads of laundry and half of my clothes will be in the kids' laundry baskets, as if he hasn't seen me wear them all week long.

I would be a nag and a taskmaster to harp on this stuff, and there have been many times that I've outright said I'll handle something rather than having to redo something I know he'll mess up. I don't know the permanent solution to this, but the loving detente, if you will, is he has his strengths and weaknesses and I have mine and our responsibilities are divided accordingly. Sometimes one of us still feels grouchy about our load but we talk it through, not always happily.

I love him and I think he's a good person and a good dad. Do you feel that way about your DH? If so, I think you can find a way to communicate what you each can take on so you're not so annoyed all the time. In no way do I want to clean out the gutters or renew car registrations or even think about those things, so I don't have to. Likewise I shield him from class party signup genius, which his brain can't comprehend anyway. Sure it's gendered and cliched but there are other things we each do that aren't as much and we trudge along.[/quote]

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