Reply to Isolated moms, why not get support?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, how do you know this mom doesn't already see a therapist? What do you think therapy is for? How do you think it works? Have you ever done therapy?

This family has an acute problem of being at a new school and it taking time to make connections. Sure, if this is very upsetting to her she might seek out therapy. She might also already be in therapy for a variety of other perfectly normal reasons and might also discuss how the new school stuff is going and making her feel.

But therapy is not going to solve this particular problem. At most, it will help her process any negative feelings coming up as a result. But it won't get rid of those negative feelings. The fact that she's struggling to make connections at the school is not a mental health problem -- it's a practical problem with joining a school community with an older child and people not always being that interested in developing connections with the new family. And the fact that she feels isolated as a result is also not a mental health problem -- it's a totally normal response to being an outsider struggling to make connections. The very fact that she felt comfortable identifying these challenges to you when you asked indicate that she's actually in a perfectly good mental health space, is okay being honest about the challenge and revealing a vulnerability to another person. This all seems normal and healthy to me.

I also think it's fascinating that you see a family struggling somewhat (it honestly doesn't sound like they are struggling horribly, just feeling slightly awkward and don't have any friends yet, it's November so this seems fine) and you recognize she needs some kind of help, but your first thought is for her to consult a professional outside your community to fix whatever is apparently wrong with her. Babe, the support that would be most useful to her would come from INSIDE the community. Like maybe, I don't know just spitballing here, the room mom in her child's class could recognize a family is being left out and make some introductions, or schedule a class playdate, or even just reach out to this mom once or twice to say "hey a lot of 2nd grade parents enroll their kids in this day off camp, wanted to make sure you're in the loop" or similar.

You have so much more opportunity to help this mom with this problem than a therapist would, but you can't even see it.[/quote]

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