Reply to If you have successful well adjusted adult children, what did you do right?

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Reply to "If you have successful well adjusted adult children, what did you do right?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in the arena of a birds eye view- looking at my own adult  kids, my friend's adult kids and hundreds of young  adults  whom I've taught as young adults,  and many that I've taught when they were children and have now  grown.

Here's the basic which we all know:
Don't enable
Don't helicopter 
Don't yell  too much (you will yell sometimes).  Don't abuse your kids.  That should go without saying. 
Make sure they are held accountable for their actions, make sure they participate in household chores.
Teach how to be considerate and polite. It does have to be taught. 
Encourage, don't force
Try not to get all involved in the competition- the sports,  the college  game,  the things,  the clothes...etc. 
Tone down the materialism. 
Enjoy your family.

Now, Here's  the real stuff:
All people come with their own DNA- their personality, behavior, quirks, etc , are really just theirs. We have only so much control over who they end up being. We can provide a path, but they are the driver. It's not all about parenting. And that is everyone. [/quote]

This is great advice.  I say this as the parent of three young adults who are making their way in the world (cue Cheers theme song), encountering some bumps here and there, and learning from them.  For now at least, they have found work that is meaningful to them, friends and love.  My husband and I feel fortunate to have them in our lives.   The only thing I would add to this list is to show your kids that you believe in them, even when they make mistakes.  Oh, and ask them to be there for each other because we're not going to be around forever.  [/quote]

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