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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think OP and her husband have a right to be very annoyed.

For their family, Thanksgiving or Christmas is their chance to not only see MIL, but see extended family and get kids together with cousins. It could have happened this year but instead MIL didn’t tell them. To MIL, Thanksgiving or Christmas belongs to her. She’s the center and only important guest so why should it matter to her adult son if other people are coming or not.

So in the future do not book plans until you confirm with your cousins whether their branch will be coming. [/quote]

Why is MIL in charge of telling OP that different family members have different thanksgiving plans this year? If OPs family was so excited to see these cousins, they could have reached out to them to ask if they were attending MILs thanksgiving this year or not. Either way , it is childish to assume that every years thanksgiving gathering will be the same. People are allowed to switch it up and 1) stay home, 2) visit different family or in laws, 3) go on a trip, 4) spend it with neighbors or friends, or 5) any combination of the above. Getting annoyed that someone isn’t attending a thanksgiving dinner that a third person (in this case, MIL) is hosting because “they always attend!” is childish. It certainly wasn’t MILs job to inform you of this other family’s plans, that makes your reaction even MORE silly. [/quote]

Exactly. OP and DH are adults and need to act more like it; they shouldn't be relying on DH's mother to inform them of where everyone else is going to be on Thanksgiving. If it is that important, they need to reach out to DH's brothers and sisters themselves. Expecting DH's MIL to herd all of the cats here is childish. It's enough work for MIL to put on Thanksgiving at all. [/quote]

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