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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My heart goes out to your you and your daughter. I taught for 9 years-5th and 6th grades, in a parochial school. I'm sure you realize that what your daughter wears is not the issue. Where I taught, kids wore uniforms, and these cliques still formed; lots of girls (and boys, but mostly girls) were cruel to others and seemed to thrive on leaving a few girls out, being very mean to them, and even getting other girls to treat these few terribly, too. Many times a girl suddenly hitting this age (10-12 when it seemed to begin) found that a previous best friend turned against her in this way. 
Here's what I came to believe whenever these things occurred: the child suddenly left out and treated so cruelly is a sensitive, deep-feeling child. I'm betting you would describe your daughter this way. It's so hard, because the wonderful qualities your daughter has makes the behavior of the "mean girls" all the more painful, yet those very qualities are rare and so, so valuable! In other words, these gifts your daughter has make bullying (and make no mistake, verbal attacks as well as exclusionary behaviors with no specific name-calling or physical abuse IS bullying) even more difficult to endure--how can she wrap her head around behaviors so foreign to her basic nature?
Your challenge, mom, in my opinion, is to remind your daughter how valuable she is--just the way she is--and although life feels unbearable at times now, she will someday accomplish more in and for this world than most others. 
Perhaps there are outside-of-school activities where she can meet other girls, too? Perhaps it would be beneficial to look into counseling (beware, though, to interview and find a good counselor--lots are a bit nuts I think)? If you know your daughter's teacher well enough, would she be an ally for your daughter?
Forgive any typos--I'm on a Nook and bad with the keyboard--but please remember the very qualities that seem to make her a target, of sorts, to girls without these great gifts (maybe they're jealous for reasons they don't even understand) ARE rare, wonderful qualities, too infrequently seen anymore. 
Best wishes--I hope your daughter does well and that she (and you) get through this difficult time.[/quote]

OP here -- thank you so much for this beautiful post! You raised great points -- and I needed reminding. Thank you for taking the time to share your insight![/quote]

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