Reply to Anyone else feel like their spouse despises them?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If what you described is an ongoing pattern, I can understand your husband's frustration.  That likely wasn't anger from being interrupted one time to say something to your child that could have waited a couple minutes until he finished.

He shouldn't have communicated that frustration to you in that way, he did it pretty immaturely.  He needs to work on his communication.

And you also need to start treating your husband at least as well as you might treat a stranger.

This will be hard to hear, especially in the context of how he just treated you, but try to understand this perspective.  Husbands generally need a crazy amount of positive reinforcement and appreciation, more than what you would think.

I know that sounds totally sexist, but in my experience it's true.  They are like large children in this way.  I know a friend who, every time her husband came home from work, her and the kids would stand at the door and applaud him and praise him for working all day and supporting the family.  That sounds extreme, even to me.  But I can also probably say that when I remember to praise him and remind the kids to praise him as well, he is happier, a better husband and father, and more patient.  [/quote]

And what your husband could have said instead, if he had more evolved emotional intelligence and communication skills:
"I feel unappreciated.  I feel disrespected as a person who does a lot for this family, especially when I make an effort to engage with you and share a part of my life that is important to me and I think brings value to our family, and you don't meet that effort with your own efforts to support me in this part of my life.  It would mean a lot to me if you took the time and effort to ask me questions about my job and career."[/quote]

Most of us don’t have these communication skills especially when upset[/quote]

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